The terror of his ship enduring near daily bombardments by Argentine forces off the coast of the Falklands 30 years ago changed Craig Spillings for ever.
Traumatic memories of seeing friends killed sent the Royal Marine from Derbyshire, who was 19 at the time, into a spiral of self-destructive depression.
He went from being a quiet young man with good friends and an even better sense of humour to an argumentative, reclusive, aggressive individual, unable to hold down a job.
“There are moments when you just want to end it all,” said Spillings, who was eventually diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
“I know what I am doing is wrong. I want to change, but I can’t.”
The mental impact of exposure to war was