David Cameron: Gammon Robot
George Osborne’s the thing, isn’t he? George Osborne is the thing. You can have all the footage you like of David Cameron being “modern” and “quotidian” — riding a bicycle, wearing shorts, drinking tea out of a mug instead of the Eton Tea Goblet traditionally awarded to the best Oik Basher from Turret Six — but really, his poshness and uselessness is but a foothill compared with George Osborne’s. Osborne is your go-to guy for posh and useless. He’s like Hugh Laurie’s Prince Regent in Blackadder, but with an iPhone.
You can imagine early Victorian explorers discovering a Pacific island full of huge, delicious, hapless George Osbornes and clubbing them into extinction in three months flat. This is, let us