My face, my rules

‘One of the complaints I get is, “Ms Moron, why do you gurn in photoshoots?” Here’s why’

In both my written correspondence from readers of The Times and in the online comments on the website, there are three observations I receive on a reassuringly regular basis.

First: “When, oh when will Ms Moran stop harping on about her ‘poor me’ working-class background?” (When the revolution comes! Amiright, comrades?)

The second is: “I have documents which prove beyond doubt that the Queen is a lizard-Jew.” (In the interests of politeness I’ve tried to stay open-minded here, guys, but I have to say – I might be “out” on this one.)

As for the third recurrent complaint, I document a selection of them, faithfully, here. “Ms Moron, why do you persistently allow yourself to be photographed pulling faces? Grimacing adds nothing. On the